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Wit?
There are movies that leave an indelible mark in you. I rented one not long ago-"Wit." In it, Emma Thompson plays Vivian Bearing, a college English Professor who is diagnosed with ovarian cancer. By the time they detect it, it is too late; but her doctor asks her to undergo an experimental and very aggressive treatment, not for herself but for those who later may benefit from what the doctors learn from her case.
The movie is narrated in the first person by Vivian, and it chronicles her steady decline. Everything from the indignity of being treated by doctors who, through familiarity with illness and the human body, have forgotten they are dealing with human beings, all the way to her death. "Depressing" is a good word to describe this movie. Supposedly, it is her wit that gets her through the experience ... I'm not so sure.
This proud professor doesn't want anyone to know about her illness, so she goes through her ordeal completely alone. And while she lays in her hospital bed, she has plenty of time to reflect on her life and the way she had chosen to live it. She had been brutal with her students. Now she longs for the kindness she wishes she had extended to them.
In her last days, a former professor of hers accidentally discovers she is in the hospital and comes to visit her. By now, Vivian is so weak she can't move. Her friend climbs on her bed and holds her like a little child. She asks Vivian if she wants her to recite some great piece of literature, but she declines. Instead, her friend begins to read to her from a book she had just bought for her little grandchild. And this proud professor, for whom literature had been everything, finds a measure of peace in the arms of her friend and the simplicity of a children's story.
That scene is forever etched in my mind. For two reasons:
1. All that learning, all that sophistication, meant absolutely nothing
when she came to the end of her life.
2. It crystallized something in my own mind-we are not meant to go through
pain alone. That is not the way God wired us.
That entire movie can be answered with the simple depth of God's Word: "Love one another." Yet, when we hear that, we tend to focus on the fact that we are the ones who are to do the loving. It never occurs to us that we are also supposed to be the recipients of that love.
Why do we choose to cry alone? We don't want to bother anyone. Maybe. Or maybe we don't want anyone to know how weak we really are. Or we don't like the humility it takes to be able to receive love or even to express a need. It is easier to be on the giving end. We have more control.
And maybe we are uncomfortable with one another's pain because we don't know what to do. We feel helpless thinking we need to do "something" to make it better.
I think we misunderstand our function. "Love one another" doesn't mean, "Fix one another's problems." I think it means, "Be there for one another. Hug one another. Cry with one another. Give and receive from one another." And most importantly, "Lift one another up in prayer."
If no one knows you're hurting, how will anyone pray? Don't cry alone. Christ Jesus longs to hug you, but He needs a pair of human arms to do it through. I happen to know for a fact that there are several available in our church.
-Maria Lund